As We Prepare for College

As we approach, the last seven days before Paige leaves for college, I can not help but be flooded with a wave of emotions. I am thrilled for her. I am excited for her. I am happy that she gets to do the very thing she loves most, and that is to compete in cross country at the college level. At the same time, I am not going to lie. I am a bit sad. I feel like my world is about to change again, and I have no control over that. I jokingly told someone recently that I thought after Cara left home, I would be a pro at this moving closer to empty nest way of life. I haven't mastered it yet. Maybe by the time Sean is ready to leave, I will have it perfected.

I am also not happy that we haven't healed her body 100%.

This year has been tough for Paige. She has wrestled with stress fractures in her shins, shin splits, and a myriad of nutritional issues. We have worked with chiropractors and specialists, including nutritionists. We have done therapy and home care. Despite our efforts, we have not entirely solved the puzzle yet.

As she prepares to leave on Friday, the pressure to perform is weighing heavy on her. She has a timed trial a week from tomorrow, and I know she is concerned about her performance. The added stressors of new situations and surroundings in her future is more than likely also affecting her health in some way.

The situation reminds me of so many things. I see Paige's struggle, and it brings back memories of a time when I was so desperately trying to restore my health from a nerve condition. It went on for so long that often, I could see no hope. I was seeking this and trying that. The pressure to get better was weighing heavy on me. It also reminds me that stress has an impact on the restoration of your health, and it can rob you of living a healthy life. When you feel like you are in a vicious cycle, what do you do? You worry about everything.

Despite all that we have done, Paige continues to struggle. Sure, running might add a bit of stress to an existing injury, but the more significant factor that I believe is affecting her right now is the kind of stress you can not see. It's the unnecessary stress we put on ourselves to get it right — the pressure to perform. The stress of feeling okay in an uncertain situation. She has to get better because she knows she has to perform. She won't have access to all the usual things she has at home. She won't have Mom and Dad around at close fingertips.

As her mom, it breaks my heart. I want her to be healthy. I want her to enjoy this time in college. She worked so hard her entire school career, not because we forced her to, but because she is Paige, and that is what Paige does. She never starts anything that she doesn't intend to excel at or see through til the end. She earned a full academic scholarship as well as an athletic scholarship. I am proud of her.

I talk in my upcoming book, about letting go of the unnecessary. I refer to a situation that occurred when my three kids were younger, and we were running from activity to activity. During my health crisis, I forced them to make decisions about what activities they wanted to continue pursuing. Paige was trying to decide between soccer, karate, and piano. She loved them all, and she did well, but we were at a time in our lives when I was struggling with my health, and she was struggling to perform in all of them while being happy. We had to let some of it go. I remember it took her two weeks to make a decision. She knew that whatever she decided to stick with, is what she would continue with, and she would put her heart into it. She chose soccer.

There are so many lessons that can come from that story, but the biggest one to me is the importance of letting go of the unnecessary. It's easier said than done. Right?

I wish I could help Paige know it's going to be alright. She is going to be okay. If she doesn't run her best race next Saturday, it's okay. I wish I could wave a wand over her, and she would somehow have everything right. Her leg pain would be gone. Unfortunately, it isn't that easy. Paige will have to fight this battle, and she will have to figure out what she is and isn't capable of doing. What I know is that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. She has unbelievable grit, tenacity, strength, resilience, and persistence. She is a fighter, and she will solve this. She will, at some point, let some of it go. I am not suggesting she will stop running, but I do believe once she gets settled and things become familiar to her, some of the worries will subside, and quite possibly, some of these issues will resolve on their own. I think she is going to have a great time in college.

Letting go of the unnecessary can be difficult, but it is necessary. It might mean securing a job that is closer to you. Maybe it means taking less responsibility or duties at work. Perhaps it means allowing your body and your mind time to recover. I don't know what letting go of the unnecessary means to you, and I also recognize it isn't always easy. I think with persistence and dedication to your well-being, you can work through whatever is troubling you to find some peace. You may have to make some adjustments in different areas of your life.

Doing activities like reading, exercise, meditation, and affirmations have helped me tremendously. They help me reduce stress. They help me to focus on things I can control. They also get me focused on more significant vision ideas. It's hard to stay focused on negative thoughts when we are excited about something. If you are scared to run your first marathon, think how excited you are going to be when you cross that finish line. It will help you let go of the unnecessary fear.

Whatever battle you are fighting, know you will get through it if you stay committed. Let go of what isn't necessary for your life and focus on the big picture. Where do you see yourself? Where do you want to go? Put your energy into positive stuff. Everything else will work itself out eventually.

I know Paige has hope. Otherwise, she would have given up. I keep encouraging her that it's all going to be okay. I did put my nerve pain back into remission. It wasn't easy, but I came through. I genuinely believe some of Paige's best years are ahead of her. This dilemma is temporary, and it's a time when adjustments are being made. She will survive. She will run her best race. She will meet new people and make incredible memories.

Love you, Paige. You are going to do great and be great. I am proud of you.